Persuasive Business Letter

BUSINESS Persuasive Letter


Project #2: Persuasive Business Letter

· “American industry loses $32 billion dollars and 132 million work days … every year because of employees’ premature deaths that are associated with cardio-vascular disease (high blood pressure, heart stroke, diabetes, and obesity). Billions more are lost as a result of lowered productivity as a result of sickness and disability” (Occhipinti).

· You are a sales manager for [TEAM NAME] Fitness, a new and innovative fitness company. You are convinced that your fitness equipment and programs can improve the health of employees. As employee health improves, absenteeism is reduced, overall productivity increases, and health-care insurance costs decrease. Also, employees love working out before or after work. They make the gym a regular part of their day and they often have colleagues who share their fitness routine.

· Although many companies resist spending money to save money, fitness centers need not be large or expensive to be effective. Studies show that moderately-sized centers, coupled with motivational and training programs, yield the greatest success. For just $75,000, [TEAM NAME] Fitness will provide exercise equipment including treadmills, elliptical trainers, exercise bikes, multi-gyms, and weight machines. Fitness experts will design a fitness room, set up the equipment and create appropriate programs. Best of all, the one-time cost is usually offset by cost savings within one year of center installation. For additional fees, [TEAM NAME] can provide fitness consultants for employee fitness assessments, offer a variety of classes, and clean and manage the facility.

· You are now required to write a well organized, persuasive sales letter to Megan Lopez, Vice President, Human Resources, Better Foods Inc., 2300 Thousand Trees Blvd., Ventura, CA. In your letter, detail the products and services that [TEAM NAME] Fitness provides. Give examples of at least two companies that have fitness programs. Cite all sources in footnotes. Make it clear that your company develops onsite gyms and fitness programs that are often the first step towards the creation of broader wellness programs. As an incentive, offer free Fitbits to the first 75 employees who register at the new fitness center if Better Foods installs a fitness facility by May 1. Ask for an appointment to meet with Megan Lopez. Use your own name in your first draft.

· Review the following sources and use at least three of these sources to provide logos, ethos, and pathos:







1. Review Ch. 10 of your BC textbook before starting this project, and complete the related MindTap homework.

2. The first draft of each student’s letter is due in class on Friday, March 2 and will be discussed in team workshops. Bring copies for all team members. NOTE: Everyone will write his or her own first draft. [The SECOND draft will be a TEAM document.] Students who do not hand in a first draft and/or who do not participate in the writing of a 2nd draft cannot receive the team grade for this assignment.

3. The SECOND DRAFT (ONE from each team) will be handed in and posted on Canvas on Friday, March 9. One first draft from each team member will also be handed in on Friday, March 9.

4. The letter must be no longer than one-and-a-half pages, single-spaced. The second draft should be on a “[Team] Fitness” letterhead. See textbook Appendix B, Figure B2 for a sample letterhead. NOTE: Use the name of your TEAM in the name of your fitness company and design a team letterhead. Include a suitable (fitness-related) logo and slogan on the letterhead.

5. Cite your sources using footnotes. For example:

Microsoft is regarded as one of the healthiest companies in the country because it offers gym memberships, medical insurance, and healthy dining options to all employees.[footnoteRef:1] [1: Thorpe, Abigail. “The 44 Healthiest Companies to Work for in America.” The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 27 Oct. 2015,]

Grading Grid for Persuasive Business Letter

TEAM NAME:____________________ GRADE:________


Excellent Strong Acceptable Weak

Effective opening pitch and

concluding call to action

Appropriate use of ethos (establishing credibility), logos (evidence that the “product” works), and pathos
Anticipation & reduction of resistance
Concise presentation of information (avoiding unnecessary repetition)
Logical organization; effective use of headings and/pr bullets
Appropriate style/

sentence structure/vocabulary; use of original language; correct and appropriate grammar/ mechanics

Sources cited in footnotes using MLA citation style, 8th ed.
Correct format for a formal business letter;

letterhead design, logo & slogan

Quality of team’s second draft as compared to individual first drafts
Creativity or innovation

(if applicable)


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